Preparing for mediation

How to prepare for mediation

Good preparation does not mean rehearsing an argument or deciding exactly what the other person must accept. It means understanding the issues, identifying what matters and being ready to consider realistic options.

Understand the purpose of mediation

Mediation gives participants an opportunity to discuss issues with the assistance of an impartial mediator. The mediator manages the process but does not decide the outcome or provide legal advice.

The aim is not to prove who is right. The aim is to understand the issues, exchange relevant information and consider whether workable agreements can be reached.

Identify the issues

Write down the matters that need to be discussed. Try to describe each issue in neutral language. Replace statements about the other person with a clear description of the decision or arrangement that needs attention.

Separate positions from underlying interests

A position is a stated demand or preferred outcome. An interest is the need, concern or priority beneath that position.

For example, a request for a particular schedule may reflect a need for predictability, time with children, work commitments or reduced contact. Understanding the interest can create more than one possible solution.

Decide what matters most

Identify:

• The issues that must be addressed.
• The outcomes you would prefer.
• The areas where you may have flexibility.
• The matters that require professional advice.
• The arrangements that may need to be reviewed later.

Gather useful information

Bring information that will help participants understand the issues and evaluate options. This may include dates, correspondence, financial information, workplace policies, quotations, calendars or previous agreements.

Avoid overwhelming the process with material that does not relate directly to the decisions being discussed. Ask the mediation service what information should be provided before the session.

Develop more than one option

Arriving with only one acceptable outcome can make negotiation difficult. Consider several ways the important interests might be addressed.

Think about what is workable for you, what may be workable for the other person and how an arrangement would operate in everyday life. Consider timing, responsibilities, communication and what will happen if circumstances change.

Prepare how you will communicate

Plan a short explanation of the situation from your perspective. Focus on what happened, how it affected you and what you would like to address.

Listen for information as well as statements you disagree with. Ask questions when something is unclear. You can request a break if you need time to think, speak with an adviser or manage a strong emotional response.

Obtain advice before making decisions

If the matter involves legal rights, finances, safety, health or another specialist issue, obtain independent advice before mediation where possible. This can help you assess proposals and make informed decisions.

Mediation and professional advice serve different purposes. A mediator facilitates the discussion. Your independent adviser helps you understand your own circumstances.

How CM-1 may support preparation

A CM-1 session can help when mediation is approaching but you feel overwhelmed, unclear about your priorities or unsure how to participate.

In a private one-to-one session, a CM-1 practitioner can help you organise your thinking, consider different perspectives and identify questions or options to take into mediation.

The CM-1 practitioner should not later act as the mediator in the same matter.